Memories Of Never

I remember you

Your hands between mine

Cold and warm, firm and fine
Your breath on my skin 
Hot and deep, yours to mine 

I remember your smile against my cheek
Your lips, tongue, tasting mine
Your touch, gentle pain
So rough, so soft, so right 

I remember your skin

Hot and sweet

My tongue laving, teeth scraping
Mouth savouring

I remember your body
Above, around, against, within
My skin burning, throbbing, screaming, needing, desperate

I remember the rush
As the smell of you reached my senses, before my eyes opened to fill with you
Your beauty, singular, mine

I remember waking to your heartbeat 
To your torture
So powerful a high
As never reached before

I remember crashing and rising
Loving and dying 
A moment, forever
Forever a moment

I remember holding your hand 
I remember you
Us
Ever
Though we’ve met
Never

I have loved you and will love you every good day, every bad day and every stupid day
How do I carry these memories of loving you? 
Being loved by you?

And do you remember me too?

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Whoredom

I left, escaped, finally broke free
My own place, my own space,
But he will never let me be
Turn this way
Stand that way
Bend this way 
Oh yeah 
Like that
Just like that
Wiggle it, just a little
Squeeze it just a bit
Softer, harder, tighter, smoother, wetter
Just like that

Not his, but not mine
Freedom with a price tag

A photo, a video, a pose

A piece of me
A piece of meat 
My place, my space
My sanctuary 
My prison with open doors 
I finally broke free
But will I ever be 
Will he ever let me

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Paper Soldier

I’m a paper soldier 
Fighting in the rain
Praying for someone 

To shield me from the pain

Standing all alone

Without a raincoat on

Heart and soul 

Torn and tattered by the storm

We could’ve stood tall 

You could’ve stood by my side

We would’ve been strong

This should’ve been our fight

No matter the wrong 

We would’ve been all right

Now I’m a paper soldier

Standing in the rain

Praying for someone 

To shield me from the pain

Standing all alone 

Without a raincoat on

Heart and soul

Torn and tattered by the storm

 

I thought you understood 

But now I see you can’t 
You’re looking for a reason 
Where there is none 

And now I fight alone 

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I Dream You Real

I see you 

I hear you 

I'll never be near you 

I feel you 

I love you 

I'll never touch you 

How do I know you 

Your touch, taste and smell 

I remember so well 

Before I knew I knew 

Besides we ever meet 

I have loved you 

Should a time come 

That we ever reach 

A place we both will be 

I will give you 

All of me 

For the tomorrows I wish and feel 

For the now's and before's 

I dream you real

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